Practicing self-respect

I knew a small child once who would hurt himself out of frustration. His mother would catch him banging his head against the wall, and at first it frightened her. She knew she would never let anyone else bang her son’s head against the wall, so she sternly told him, "No one hurts my Josh. Nobody!" He quickly got the message that he was not allowed to hurt himself. She wanted him to respect others, but she also wanted him to respect himself.

We try to teach our children the "Golden Rule" that goes something like this, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It’s all about respect, which simply means proper acceptance or courtesy. Respect also has connotations of esteem or honor. Most of us try to give respect to the people around us, and to those we meet in the course of our lives. But some of us don’t respect ourselves and our own bodies enough to afford proper acceptance or courtesy, let alone esteem and honor. It begins with self-talk. If the mental soundtrack that you are running sounds like this: "How could you be so stupid? Way to go, idiot," then it would be logical if others treated you as if you were stupid. However, if you were to afford yourself proper acceptance and courtesy, you might make a conscious effort to change the soundtrack of your life.

Now, don’t be shocked, but I ran upon some pornography the other day. All it takes is one errant click of the mouse on a stray spam message, and there you have it. This particular site was one of those that if you tried to close it, another window popped up with even more junk until I had to shut down my browser, and restart my computer. But the impression that really stayed with me was that those women seemed to have no self-respect. Although they tried to look sultry and dangerous, they looked empty. I suspect that they did not accept, honor, or esteem themselves, and certainly not their bodies. It made me wonder what choices got them to that place.

And what about the rest of us? Do we put up with abusive partners or children because we don’t respect ourselves? Do we abuse food, drink, or drugs that hurt our bodies? Do we respect ourselves enough to keep a decent home environment? Do we speak up when we are demeaned, especially if the disrespectful voice is our own? Do we let others determine the schedule of our life so that we have to endure stress and illness because we refuse to say no? How about the little things? When we eat alone do we put down a placemat for the honored guest, and use real dishes? Do we take the cart at the grocery store that has a thumping wheel, and just endure it for the entire shopping trip? Do you answer the phone even when you are immersed in something else?

I hope that if you think about it, you all have things that you do to show yourself common courtesy and acceptance. And when and if you practice self respect, don’t be surprised if people treat you with esteem, and honor. I’ve taken a pretty strict line with myself, and tried to implement self-respect into my life. And if I have anything to say about it, nobody disrespects Patty. Not even Patty.