“Italian by contamination”

After Lenny and I married, my mother used to say that I had become Italian by contamination. This is the weekend that we celebrate all things Italian (see invitation to Festa Italiana below). My husband's Italian roots are firmly grounded in American soil, but it's wonderful to remember where the tree once grew before the shoots came over on a boat.

I've told you a lot about his family: how his mother's mother, Grazia, came from Calabria to the United States to marry a paisano named Gangale. They had five children together before she left him in fear of her life. Her youngest child, a son, was adopted by a wealthy couple. Four daughters were sent to a convent. She then opened up her own business, a poultry shop in the Excelsior district of San Francisco, and she married Gangale's cousin Ambrogio Fabiano. They had six children, five daughters and a son. Each time she gave birth, she was able to reclaim one of her older girls from the convent. Never was there a word uttered in English or Italian to imply that they were half-sisters or brothers. Never. Grazia was their mother, Ambrogio was their father, and they were Nana and Nanutz to us all.

The poultry shop was sufficient to support the family, but when they needed extra cash, Ambrose was known to do some bootlegging. If he was arrested, he would take all of his young children to court where they presented quite the drama. In his own defense, Ambrose would point to his gorgeous children with the big, brown eyes, and they would cry on cue.

"Papa! Papa! Don't leave us!" And each time the judge would tell Ambrose to go home and take care of his family. I would imagine that a few bottles changed hands when necessary. As soon as the older girls were able, they "found" the brother who had been adopted, and convinced him to rejoin the family. Three of the eleven children are still alive.

But there was a complication in the family that took me years to figure out. There were two brothers, sons of German immigrants, who became Lenny's uncles. One of them married Lenny's dad's sister Josie. The other married Lenny's mother's sister Eleanor. If that's not complicated enough, now my sons have become very close to the granddaughters of Lenny's cousin Frankie. The relationship is so far removed that the kids can't even explain it. Add to that the fact that our kids are adopted, and they are completely genetically unrelated. Phew.

One of my favorite things about Festa is finding all the other spouses who are "Italian by contamination." Several of us are Irish by heritage, but whatever we are, I'm sure we all feel grateful to be part of la familiga.