How to find things

Now that the New Year is bearing down upon us like a freight train without brakes, I find myself musing about growing older. I don't mind being older. I've always appreciated the credibility that comes with age and experience. But I've found that there is an epidemic of something among all of my peers that is causing a great deal of frustration: self-doubt. I don't mean the kind of doubt that arises when one wonders about qualifications for employment, or parenting, or leadership. I'm talking about the kind of doubt that seeps into the psyche in those times when we are alone, and trying to find something obscure, like the keys to a bicycle lock, or the paprika that you were inspired to buy after tasting some mighty fine spicy chicken wings at a happy hour buffet. It's the doubt that comes with the question, "now where did I put that?" or the doubt that accompanies the musing, "I could have sworn I had an extra light bulb for that fixture."

Last year when we had the big storm, I lit the hurricane lamps we have scattered throughout the house for just such a time. One of the lamps was acting up, and I realized that it needed a new wick. My internal dialogue went from blame (I should have prepared better), to hope (Maybe I did buy wicks), to delight (Eureka! Wicks!), to pride (I am woman, hear me roar!).

This was just one of many times I found that I did not trust myself. I assumed the worst about my memory, just because I'm busy and aging. Often I would begin to beat myself up, expecting my own ineptness, when I found an item just where it should be. I decided I wasn't being self-depricating by teasing myself about forgetfulness, I was being unfair to a perfectly good mind. I began to say, "Trust yourself," and I found that I wasted a lot less time.

Of course, this method assumes that you have a system for putting things in their proper place. The older I get, the more I realize that being organized is not only nice, but utterly essential. And now that there are fewer people in the house, it's possible that things are right where they belong. There is less hunting for scissors, tape, combs, brushes, and hair products (yes, even boys "borrow" these things).

But now I've encountered a new problem that is stretching my "trust yourself" theory. Since John moved back home, I have resorted to hiding things to keep him from using all my stuff. This means that things are not where they belong, but in some clever hiding spot. My brain is taxed to the max while I try to remember. Every now and again, I open the china cupboard to find an expensive spice that I didn't want to be dumped into an experimental barbecue sauce. I hide liquor that is to be used for recipes. Grand Marnier gives fresh strawberries an orange kiss with the breath of spring, but I don't want it to be wasted as part of a chipotle wet-rub for ribs.

One of my friends is always misplacing things. Or is she? She has been beset with numerous health issues, and with her health has gone her self-confidence. So many times she will be frantically looking for something, only to find it right where it belonged. I often remind her to trust herself, and she has less frustration.

So, Plan A for the New Year: put things away where they belong, and trust yourself. Plan B is, to quote my slightly sarcastic mother: "Don't put anything away, but remember where you saw it last."

Happy New Year, friends.