A little advice for the graduate

It’s the time of year when graduation announcements begin to arrive in the mail, providing yet another yardstick with which to measure life. When we had been married almost ten years, we had a young neighbor who was about to graduate from college. We met her boyfriend, who became her fiancé, who became her husband twenty years ago. The graduation announcement that arrived today was from their daughter. My, my, my.

I looked up the column I wrote six years ago when our oldest graduated. I wanted to see if it still applied in our rapidly changing world. It was written just four months after my first column appeared in the Eastside Journal. I thought many of you might not yet have established the Saturday morning routine of joining me for a hot cup of coffee or tea, so rather than re-invent the wheel, I decided to post most of the text of that column. I hope you enjoy it.

Life is very different now than it was for us, the class of 1970, but there are some things that never change. Here is a little advice for graduates, no matter what year is on your class ring.

First of all, if you keep the parents happy, things will go well with you. Take their advice. They have already been around the block a few times, and have learned things the hard way. If you stop and have a rational talk with them, most parents would be happy to explain why they think a certain way. Perhaps in voicing what they think, they might recognize that their reasoning is faulty or flawed. OK, that’s wishful thinking, but it could happen! It helps if you don’t lie to them, either. If you lie, and they believe it, the shame is on you.

Ask yourself, “Will this matter in eternity?” When it comes to arguments, contests, and having to be right, most often the answer will be “no.” It’s disappointing to lose, but it probably doesn’t matter.

Don’t allow yourself to be offended by ignorant people. If you have thin skin, you’ll spend your life wounded. If someone criticizes you, consider the source. If the criticism is valid, be humble enough to learn from it.

Learn to yield. Driving a car is not a competition, and requires full attention. You don’t have to be first. Dying in an accident is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Sometimes living with an injury, or the consequences of causing an injury is infinitely harder than dying.

Listen to your friends if they are trying to warn you about something or someone. Keep in touch with friends you love. It is the coolest thing in the world to have friends you have known for many, many years.

Learn some manners. There will come a time you will need them. Manners are meant to make those around you comfortable, not to show off.

Marry someone who is agreeable. If you fight and argue all the time before you get married, your life together will be miserable.

Don’t pay too much attention to your weight. However, if your weight is causing pain or threatening your health, remember it’s easier to take off ten pounds rather than thirty. If you can’t lose weight, become more distinguished.

If you have faith in God, don’t disregard it in the midst of a busy life. Be quick to forgive and ask forgiveness. And don’t be enticed by a cult which would cut you off from the rest of your life. If a little group says that they are the only way to heaven, run. Fast.

If you lack faith in God, start asking questions. God isn’t threatened by your inquiry, and he guarantees and answer. The God I know is Love. Now that’s something which makes a difference in eternity!